Archive for February, 2007

Heaven

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel hears his plea and appears to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.” The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.

The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.

The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter.

Seeing the suitcase St. Peter says,
“Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”

But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying,
“You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.”

St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims,
“You brought pavement?!!!”

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Stairs- a short funny storie

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. “I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car!”

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Economists: Study proves money leads to hotter sex (especially for the women)

funy pictures

Money, as the Beatles once said, can’t buy you love. But according to a new survey, wealth can bring you hotter, nastier, make-you-scream sex.
It’s true! According to economics blogger Marginal Revolution, 70% of today’s multimillionaires said being wealthy gave them “better sex.” Not only that, but a majority also said wealth gave them “more adventurous and exotic” sex lives.

 

 

Gee, who would have thought that? Why do they think people work so hard to make money? So they can open Roth accounts?

The survey polled nearly 600 men and women with net worths of more than $30 million and a mean net worth of $89 million…

The survey’s most-surprising findings relate to the impact that money has on the sex lives of women…Among the respondents, nearly three-quarters of the women surveyed (about 150) said they’d had affairs, compared to about 50% of the men. While the male numbers are in keeping with findings for the broader American population, the figure for women is almost twice as high as the national average, according to sex researchers. (More than half of all the men and women surveyed had been divorced at least once.)

Fully 63% of rich men said wealth gave them “better sex,” which they defined as having more-frequent sex with more partners. That compares to 88% of women who said more money gave them better sex, which they defined as “higher quality” sex.

“This tells us that the women as a whole receive more sexual benefits from wealth than men,” says Ms. Grove.

As one commenter said, “Maybe it’s their sexual behavior which helped them achieve their multi millionaire status in the first place…”. Damn straight.

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Mary-Kate Olsen is Officially Scary

cheerleaders, funy pictures

cheerleaders, funy pictures

Note: some photos have been doctored for effect but to be honest the original photographs are in fact scarier. What happened to sweet and wholesome?

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Words We Almost Never See Together: Asian Cheerleader Upskirt

This picture crams so many great things into one shot…Asian girls, cheerleader uniforms, upskirt (!), panties…

It was if it was conceived by a couple of drunk dorm buddies trying to outdo each other concocting a fantasy scenario.

    “Okay, Dude, how about this? One of the hot, young Asian cheerleaders has her panties accidentally pulled down by one of the other cheerleaders?”“Dude! You win!”

But it also raises the question, what in the world was the adult responsible for this squad thinking? Unless these are brand new uniforms there was a serious lapse of judgment in letting them wear them or letting someone with a camera stand behind them.

cheerleaders, funy pictures

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